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Joke of the Day

"Ways to make your woman happy. 1. Cook for her. 2. Surprise her with hugs & kisses. 3. Hide a lion in her apartment then rescue her."

Next Joke
 
"""Get a womb!"" - me when I see two babies making out."
"What is the difference between my dad and cancer? Cancer came back"
"I slammed the car door on my fingers this afternoon. In related news, there's an 83% chance that my nephew just added ""Mother*ucker"" to his vocabulary."
"I am starting a website called Kickfarter where people pay me to not fart."
"WIFE: this year, can you put the santa presents out for the kids christmas morning? GUY WHO NEVER FOUND OUT SANTA CLAUS ISN'T REAL: what"
"Remember, tomorrow is Good Friday So let's all act like Jesus and get completely hammered."
"Neckbeard goes to the doctor, feeling abnormal. He had a ma'lady."
"Why did 8 break up with 7? Because 7 always came first!!!"
"Last night my friend Gavin overdosed on heart burn medicine...... I can't believe Gaviscon."