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Joke of the Day

"Me: It stands for Greatest Of All Time Jeweller: I just don't think your wife will want ""THE GOAT IS MINE"" inscribed on her wedding ring"

"Never laugh at a toddlers joke unless you want to hear it repeated 425 more times."

"Jokes about deporting Mexicans aren't funny They're despicable."

"I believe if Floyd fought Ali ... I believe it would be a close fight but Floyd would win. Because Ali has Parkinson's"

"Two penguins are chilling in Antarctica. One turns to the other and says, ""Yo, it's really fucking cold."" The other quickly looks at the penguin and exclaims, ""Oh my god! You can talk!"""

"DAD: Your mother and I love you very much, and I'm not sure how to tell you this, but... you're adopted. DOG: OMG THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE"

"What did the red light say to the green light Don't look. I'm changing"

"You have no idea how hard it is to find a greeting card for your wife that says, ""I don't remember where I left the baby."""

"It's not that I think I'm out of your league. Its more that I'm not even sure we're playing the same sport."

"I bought a toilet brush at the store the other day but it kind of hurts so I think I'll go back to paper!"