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Joke of the Day

"What do we want? TO BE LESS INSECURE? When do we want it? NOW! Um, I think... Soon, I guess? Is that weird? When do people usually want it?"

"Getting married next week I told my fiance I'll set a date the day I see the Queen jump out of a helicopter."

"Back in my day bathrooms were used for taking a sh*t, not as a photo-booth!"

"Do not blow kisses to loved ones. Ghosts intercept them mid-flight and put them on their butts."

"Whenever one door closes, another opens. ..perhaps the one who built the house didn't do a good job."

"Why sugars are very unhappy these days? It is sweet but still is not getting added do any thing!"

"What did the Circle say to the Square on the bus? ""Oh no! I've got on the Rhombus!"""

"Hey baby, are you a gorilla exhibit? Coz I wanna drop a baby into you."

"What stops rape every time? Consent."

"I'd hate to play baseball with the witches from Macbeth Because they think that Fair is Foul and Foul is Fair."