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Joke of the Day

"Earlier today I saw the Facebook group 'kids vs cancer' Well, it turns out writing ""my money is on cancer every time"" is one way to get quite a bit of hate mail."

"A cannibal's dillema: If God didn't want us to eat people why did he make them out of meat?"

"A man walks into a bakery right before closing time And asks, ""do you have any pita?"" The baker responds, ""no, there's naan left."""

"I've struggled for years to be above the influence... But I've never been able to get that high"

"A termite walked into a tavern, and asked"" Is the bar tender here?"""

"Good thing the silica gel packet that came with my shoes was marked ""DO NOT EAT"". I assume all new shoes come with snacks."

"Lying in bed, my girlfriend turned to me and said: ""You're a lot like a math exam."" I replied ""Why? Because I'm long and hard?"" She said, ""No, I'm cheating on you with an Asian."""

"What excuse does an Ape give for abducting a pretty girl? I can't help it - she brings out the beast in me!"

"Do you know the definition of insanity? Do you know the definition of insanity? Do you know the definition of insanity? Do you know the definition of insanity? Do you know the definition of insanity?"

"What do you call two crows flying together? An attempted murder."