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Joke of the Day

"Henry David Thoreau walks into a bar. The bartender says: We don't serve your kind here! Thoreau replies: Walden. I'll see myself out."

"I like to make things awkward on first dates just by shouting ""wrong hole!!"" at inappropriate times, like when you're eating."

"Waldo collapses on the beach because it's August & he's fully clothed with a ski cap. You spot him easily"

"Who performs the most assisted suicides. Youth in Asia."

"What did the pirate say with the steering wheel in his pants? Arrgh, it's driving me nuts!"

"If Mayans could predict the future, why didn't they predict their extinction?"

"I thought she said ""tantrum sex"" and this is probably the most I've ever disappointed a woman."

"What do you call a shape that's always worried? A paranoid. (Wooo maths jokes)"

"Yes Yes Yes !!! Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. ""Yes"" is the answer."

"Did you hear bout the new iphone with professional camera? Its called the eyephone."