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Joke of the Day

"I forgot to bring my towel to the gym... But I'm not gonna sweat it."

"MOM: Story time ME: Yay! MOM: it's called ""The Little Engine that Could, but doesn't cuz he's a little shit that won't move out"" ME: mom?"

"What do pedophiles and McDonalds have in common? They are both bad for kids, but *I'm lovin it!*"

"I still don't know what the word ""Suicide"" means I've been killing myself trying to find the definition"

"What's the difference between Harry Potter and the Jews? Harry Potter made it out of the chamber"

"Where's the red light district in Toronto? Behind the Maple Leafs' net."

"I like my women like I like my coffee... Hot and all over my crotch."

"I got called racist for saying 'pitch black' The umpire disqualified me and told me I struck out and that the better thing to say would be 'Jamal, I'm ready for your fastball'."

"I like sleeping outside. No hobo."

"I was just thinking about my ex girlfriend and how great her breasts were. It was a real trip down mammary lane."