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Joke of the Day
"How do you know if an Italian person is mute? When you see he has no hands."
Next Joke
"In order to stop all the black lives matter protests Just play the national anthem on repeat, they will all sit down or kneel."
"Today's the 3rd anniversary of my joining Twitter. Also the 3rd anniversary of the last time I spoke to my family or read a book."
"Years ago I used to do a lot of drag racing... ...buy I kept tripping in those high heels"
"Everyone always pets my pregnant wife's stomach and says 'congratulations' but no one ever rubs my balls and says 'good job'."
"Top 13 facts you NEVER knew about non-conductors. #7 won't shock you."
"If I answer you with my voice two octaves higher than normal, ""whaaaaat?!"" then one octave lower than normal, ""noooooo,"" the answer was yes."
"DOG: [running in circles trying to catch his own tail] SON OF A DOG'S PREGNANT WIFE: *looks up from knitting* Son of a what, David? Say it"
"What's the downside to dating a Mermaid? Her clam smells like fish!"
"What is Pedobear's favorite time of the day? When the big hand touches the little hand."