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Joke of the Day
"Why was the belt thrown in jail? He held up a pair of pants."
Next Joke
"You know I would love to show you the toys my elves make for adults."
"Live each day like it's my last? Terrible advice. Do you really want to encourage me to eat my weight in cereal?"
"Me and my friends.. My friend: Your dick is probably like a tic tac. Me: No wonder your moms mouth is so fresh. Class: OOOOHHHHHHHHHH!!! #GetRekt scrub m8"
"First you can't smoke and now you get banned for grinding up on other patrons. It's like, why even bother getting drunk at the zoo anymore?"
"Over the years, my sexual fetishes have been getting more perverse But it wasn't until I spanked a statue that I realized I hit rock bottom"
"What did the lesbian rattlesnake say to Hillary after they finished making love? ""You know, they're right . . . we do taste like chicken!"""
"My thai-girlfriend told me it's ok to have a small penis I would still prefer that she had a vagina. EDIT: Grammar thx to /u/Jarabar"
"You guys hear that Atheists don't get taxed? Apparently they are a non-prophet organization"
"What do you call a sheep covered in chocolate? A chocolate BAA"