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Joke of the Day

"Over the years, my sexual fetishes have been getting more perverse But it wasn't until I spanked a statue that I realized I hit rock bottom"

"Why isn't the speed of light Asian? Because it never gets better than a 'C'."

"What does a Canadian hipster say? ""meh""."

"I asked my girlfriend if she could wake me up with oral sex. I woke up to her sitting on my face."

"there's a guy with a pt cruiser at the car wash bet it's hard to keep clean when girls are just constantly smashing their pussies against it"

"What's the biggest joke of all time? My life. My entire goddamned life."

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize you were an expert on my life and how I should live it. Please continue while I take notes."

"What's better than a dozen roses on a piano? Tulips on an organ."

"Wolves are just wild dogs who can't get enough of the woods I guess."

"With all the news about Bristol Palin's pregnancy, I can't help but think abortion may have been the right answer... Her grandmother probably regrets not having one."