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Joke of the Day

"Where do porn actresses wait for their turn in a baseball themed orgy? The on-dick circle of course."

"Always leave them wanting more, my uncle used to tell me. I guess that's why he lost his job in disaster relief."

"What kind of gum do astronauts chew? Hubble Bubble"

"I like my women like I like my coffee, I can't afford coffee"

"FARMER: Who raided my vegetable patch? PIGLET: Beets me!"

"Yo' mama so fat, when she was a baby, she took a bath with a rubber albatross."

"90% of parenting is giving up the last fried cheese stick to your kid and pretending you're OK with it."

"Why don't television shows say, ""You will be delighted to know that this program contains strong sexual content?"""

"My GPS stopped working this morning and I'm going to the mall to get a new one I really hope someone with a TomTom left their car unlocked"

"I never had to swim for my life in a shark attack but once I had to doggy-paddle really fast to get out of a pool when it was dessert time."