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Joke of the Day

"After hearing all this stuff about Russia being upset I'm just like... Oh Putin, Crimea river."

"Lazy People Fact #5812672793 You were too lazy to read that number."

"How does ISIS cool down in the summer time? In a blow up pool"

"What did the cool dinosaur say to his mating partner? Dino-mate!"

"I only wear dresses on sad occasions, like funerals and weddings."

"How do you call two guys on a motocycle? Fucking morons; they could have stolen two motocycles!"

"Did you hear about the guy who decided to put the S next to the D? He was in the newd today."

"My wife ran away with my best friend. I haven't met him yet."

"I could be wrong, but an escape goat strikes me as an awfully inefficient getaway plan."

"The most amazing thing about the internet is how it allows you, with the click of a few buttons, to do absolutely nothing with your life."