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Joke of the Day

"How does ISIS cool down in the summer time? In a blow up pool"

"My girlfriend hates it when I sneak up on her. Also the police say I should stop referring to her as my girlfriend."

"Where do the Russian separatists go to complain about their lives? Crimea River"

"New health study on the psychology of midgets Shows that 6 out of 7 dwarfs aren't happy"

"Last autumn, a nice flower salesmen sold me some poppies in some cool cylinders. Oh boy! Two more months and here I come, fall opiate tubes!"

"A woman was masturbating furiously on the subway The police were going to arrest her, but she got off."

"Yo mama so fat... She models for the atlas"

"Hey, did you hear about that top secret explosion? Me neither. No one did. It's top secret. We're probably on a list already for talking about it."

"Rest in peace boiled water You will be mist."

"I chose to be gay because women are such assholes to me. Fuck em"