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Joke of the Day

"I remember staying up all night waiting for Santa to come When he was done he'd pull up his pants and say ""See ya next year kid"""

Next Joke
 
"Sometimes I like to freak my husband out by asking where this relationship is going."
"Two melons were out for a romantic dinner. One melon said to the other, ""Honey, dew you love me?"" The other replied, ""Yes, but I cantaloupe!"" ### ...I'll show myself out"
"I'm pretty sure if dogs could talk their most common phrase would be ""Are you going to eat that?"""
"Toad was always my favorite Mario character He just seems like a fungi."
"Two cows are standing on a hill.... One turns to the other and says ""Hey, aren't you worried about mad cow disease?"" The other replies, ""Why should I care? I'm a helicopter!"""
"I'm constantly amazed at how different my twin daughters are. Lisa is so much more positive & confident than her sister Hog Face."
"Alderaan whoa this blew up"
"What do you call bacon wrapped frog legs? The Muppets"
"interviewer: what can u bring to the firm me: [places a tiny cactus on desk & smiles] interviewer: I meant like clients me: [removes cactus]"