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Joke of the Day

"I've been told I'm oblivious. I had not noticed this."

"Why isn't John Oliver having sultanas in his fruitcake? Because it's the currant year."

"Where do you find a dog with no legs? In the fridge where you left it! (No offense, just a joke!)"

"How 'Words' are created.. The early bird catches the worm. Holds it hostage. Stockholm Syndrome sets in. The worm and bird have babies."

"Why does the graveyard have fences? Because people were dying to get in!"

"What do you call the man who proofread Hitler's speeches? The original grammar Nazi."

"Don't worry, it's not sexist! I'm half woman on my mothers side."

"Watson returns from work one day... and finds Sherlock in bed with a very young girl. ""Christ, Sherlock! How old is this girl?"" ""Elementary, my dear Watson."""

"If I have 3 cakes and I eat 2, what do I have? diabetes.... I'll see myself out"

"The fact that jellyfish have survived for 650 million years despite not having a brain, gives me hope for our next generation."