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Joke of the Day

"Two most important rules of programming 1. Avoid repetitions 2. Avoid repetitions"

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"I will always remember the last thing my Grandpa said to me before he kicked the bucket... He said- ""How far do you think I can kick this bucket""?"
"I heard this girl talking about how much she hates stalkers. I nearly fell out of my tree."
"Heading to Chinatown tomorrow just to hear the people there say the word ""election"" all day."
"Our Xmas dinner also happens to be my New Year's resolution Bone-less turkey"
"I took my girlfriend to tour NASA this weekend! She said she needed some space."
"My wife tied me up before sex last night She then rolled over and went to sleep."
"What's the opposite of the constitution? The prostitution."
"A child in the coffee shop cried and cried until she was given a cake pop, and as I walked past, I whispered, ""Your technique is flawless."""
"When 2 Chainz doesn't want to be recognized he just takes off one chain."