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Joke of the Day

"For what a college education costs these days, I think most kids would just prefer to buy a helicopter."

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"How do you kill a circus clown ? You go for the juggler"
"How do you make your wife a dildo? Stick her fingers up your butt."
"I was actually president of the anti-voting club in high school ... I never got re-elected"
"I asked my dad what he thinks of Nihilism... He said, ""Does it matter?"""
"I typed ""Missing medieval servant"" into Google... But it just came up with ""Page not found""."
"They're saying I put a stuffed animal in the toilet. Untrue. I sent it on a mission to retrieve my toy cars."
"What time does Sean Connery go to Wimbledon? Tennish"
"I tried to propose to my girlfriend from Thailand today but it went wrong. As soon as i got down on one knee she started undoing her skirt"
"That Hamburger Helper hand guy. There's a twin out there, right? Didn't go into showbiz. Maybe an accountant or something."