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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chickpea? (From u/cherryslurpee) I won't pay 100 bucks to have a garbanzo bean on my face."

"Did you guys see that documentary about the voice of Elmo? It's very ""touching""."

"Have you ever eaten Ethiopian food? Neither have they."

"I like my coffee like I like my men Tall, dark, strong, and inside of me."

"HumansTM they start off corded but convert to wireless easily"

"*sees people doing the mannequin challenge, brings back ice bucket challenge and dumps it on mannequin people*"

"If you love somebody... Let them go. If they come back, no one wanted them."

"I said to my girlfriend, ""Please get me a newspaper."" ""Don't be silly,"" she replied, ""you can borrow my iPad."" That spider never knew what fucking hit it."

"Do you know what the worst part of being paralyzed is? I can't stand being in a wheelchair."

"what do you call... what do you call a bad noodle? AM IMPASTA!"