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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the farmer that fell into the field machine and lost half his body? He's all right now! :-)"

"How many potatoes does it take to kill the irish? None."

"After being diagnosed with a multiple personality disorder, I phoned my boss to tell him I'd need time off. ""You're self-employed you stupid bastard,"" I said."

"My favourite word is snigger It allows me to be sracist without speople sthinking I'm a sbad sperson"

"I renamed my toilet form John to Jim the other day- -that way, I can tell people that I wake up and go to the Jim every morning."

"My neighbors have really overgrown trees in their yard and keep their curtains down all the time I think that's pretty shady"

"The American Psychiatric Association defines narcissism as the first ten minutes of every podcast."

"A cannibal showed up late to the luncheon His friends gave him the cold shoulder."

"Kid sounds like the turtle from Finding Nemo http://youtu.be/3yDeag-HzuE"

"To those that say I'm Cancer I'm not Cancer, I'm Aquarius!"