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Joke of the Day

"Why won't Goldilocks drink a glass of water with eight pieces of ice in it? It's two cubed! :)"

"What is a penguin? A swallow that kept eating after 6pm."

"I like my women like I like my bread.... Brown and with nuts"

"I needed a break from stupidity so I left work early."

"My girlfriend complained about me moving on too fast."

"I'm pretty sure that spiders have figured out that I'm terrified of them, and have created a game to see who can make me flip out the most."

"Responsible parents should teach their kids that it's not the person you hate, it's their guts."

"What's the difference between a plumber and a scientist? Pronounce this word: unionized"

"Why did the man kidnap 100 children and kill 10 of them? So that only 90 kids will remember."

"I'm on chapter two of the dictionary and this thing is just so disconnected. Like, what happened to the aardvark from the beginning?"