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Joke of the Day

"Oh look what the cat dragged in [cat drags in dead body] Cat: quick we need 20lbs of lye and two shovels"

"My girlfriend and I used to like to pretend she was Khaleesi and I was Drogo Until she called me ""Crack of her Moon"""

"I'm not one of those moms who talks about her kids all the time because their lives don't interest me in the least."

"Did you hear about the girl that failed her sex ed class? She got the D"

"My ex-girlfriend dropped this one on me a heavy box. She was trying to kill me."

"""Let's go through it bit by bit"" Said Jack the Ripper"

"Why did the hipster burn his tongue? Because he ate the Pizza before it was cool."

"What do you call a valet from India? Mahatma Coat"

"Knock knock. Who's there? Daisy. Daisy who? Daisy me rollin. They hatin. Patrollin and tryna catch me ridin dirty."

"Fell through the glass doors of a French bakery and.. .. now I'm in a world of pain :D (source: Sickipedia, some user called SoSueMe..)"