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Joke of the Day

"Q: What goes click-click-click...""Did I get it?"" A: Ray Charles doing Rubik's Cube"

"I've just been charged with stocking a chicken. I'm hoping to get it reduced."

"Cop1: Has becoming a father affected your work Cop2: Not a bit Cop1: Ok cover me, I'm going in Cop2: HI GOING IN I'M DAD [both get shot]"

"""Boys don't make passes at girls who wear glasses"" -I remind myself as I flirt with the fire extinguisher I've mistaken for a cute guy"

"Job hunting tip: Leave the facial piercings at home. Hard to get hired when you look like you fell down a flight of stairs with a tackle box"

"Thank you, student loans, for helping me get through college I don't think I can ever pay you back."

"I'm not a Christian... But as a gay man I wouldn't object to being nailed bloody up against some hard wood."

"A bartender walks into... ...a church, a temple and a mosque. He has no idea how jokes work."

"We could hit every terrorist on the Most Wanted List tomorrow, if we turned it over to Google's ad department."

"Three part joke Why did the kid fall out of the tree? I shot him Why did the second kid fall out? I stapled them together Why did the third kid fall out? Peer pressure"