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Joke of the Day

"I didn't know owls were religious Until someone told me they were a bird of pray"

"If a woman wears a ponytail holder on her wrist at all times that means she's always down to pull her hair back and fight you."

"Did you hear about the Native American chief who drank 50 gallons of Earl Grey? He was found dead in the morning, drowned in his tee-pee."

"I've done some pretty stupid things while I've been drunk, but in alcohol's defense, I've done a lot of pretty stupid things sober, too."

"Why did the two tampons not talk to each other? because they're both stuck up cunts"

"Yesterday, I got so depressed.. ..I spent entire day listening to Celine Dion records. . . Or that's what I thought until I realised my cat had fallen in to the dryer."

"Babe, your cuter than a puppy at an animal shelter, Cuz i want to take you home!"

"Oh my gosh! Did you hear about the corderoy pillow? It's making headlines."

"What do girls and noodles have in common? They both wiggle when you eat them."

"Next time you decide to complain about your problems, just remember, some guy out there has Snooki as his mom ..."