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Joke of the Day

"I just bought a rotisserie but I might return it because it's so rude. It's constantly flipping the bird."

"Why aren't there any knock-knock jokes about America? Because freedom rings."

"I put on my favorite disco album yesterday. My wife tried telling me disco was dead. I said ""No honey, it's not. You're thinking of your mother."

"Turns out chiropractors aren't actually dinosaurs."

"If a mother and her son conceived a child, what would the child call his/her mother? ""Herrburgggerrrpffffppphfffffdudududeck"""

"Today I found out what it was like to play a FPS First person shoveler. gg blizzard."

"BOSS: I need to see you in my office ME: *I begrudgingly take off my invisibility cloak* oh alright"

"Somebody asked Hillary Clinton if she would be going to see 13 hours... She said no, she had already slept through that one."

"Uncle Bill always gave 100% Son: How did he die Dad? Dad: He donated blood."

"Always crush and snort your first pill on the pharmacy counter to make sure they're not passing you some fake shit."