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Joke of the Day

"The thing about penis jokes is.. they tend to grow on you."

"What's the difference between men and women? Women play hard to get. Men get hard to play."

"It's so cute how you think wearing that cross around your neck exempts you from being a reasonable human being"

"[Interview] ""Why'd you leave ur last job?"" My boss felt threatened by me [Flashback to juggling lighters after dousing boss in gasoline]"

"Why did the duck get arrested? because he was smoking quack!"

"Our welcome mat is missing its L. I'd leave it that way but I'm afraid it'll look like we're bragging."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Amsterdam ! Amsterdam who ? Amsterdam is like plum jam but made from hamsters !"

"Why did the man with bronchitis get cremated..? he was tired of coffin."

"Why are we not injecting ourselves with Magic Johnson blood?!"

"Q: How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it."