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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the math teacher who forgot his lunch money? He buynomeal"

"My wife slammed her fist on the table and shouted... ""Why must you question everything I say!?"" ...""Everything?"" I replied"

"How did Luke Skywalker know what Darth Vader got him for his Birthday? He felt his presents."

"I've always been told I shouldn't assume... Because it makes an ass out of u and me."

"There is no ""i"" in ""team,"" but there is a lot of ""alcohol"" in my ""fridge"" because I enjoy abusing my liver."

"When I die My only wish is that I die in my sleep like my grandfather, not screaming and yelling for help like the passengers in his car."

"Q: Whatever happened to the bedbugs who fell in love? A: They got married in the spring."

"Lance Armstrong should be applauded for being able to ride a bike so well on drugs. I tried it once. Hit a dog and fell into the canal."

"Teach a fish to catch a MAN, and you've got a blockbuster horror movie idea under your belt."

"Funny pick up line Are you from Japan? Because I want to get in Japanese!"