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Joke of the Day

"My wife slammed her fist on the table and shouted... ""Why must you question everything I say!?"" ...""Everything?"" I replied"

"I wanted to learn about amputees on Wikipedia But I didn't learn much, because the article was a stub."

"How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. They hold it in place and wait for the world to revolve around them."

"If only Africa had more mosquito nets... then every year we could save millions of mosquitoes from dying needlessly of AIDS."

"Poker Face. But I barely know her!"

"A girl went to Thailand... And came back a changed man."

"How can you find out the gender of an ant? Throw it in the water. If it sinks, it's a girl ant. If it floats, it's buoyant"

"I have almost 120,000 miles on my office chair."

"Judging by his physique, I'd guess Popeye's a pretty accomplished masturbator."

"Hey girl, I'm no doctor but I can diagnose your condition... You have acute butt"