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Joke of the Day

"I'm feeling more attracted to you lately. Have you put on weight?"

"Adult: If it ain't broke don't fix it Child: If it ain't breakable, not interested"

"What's the difference between a psychiatrist and his patients at the mental hospital? The patients are the ones that get better and get to go home."

"Hillary Clinton is elected President. JK."

"When I undress there is a radiant shower that falls. Not of money or glitter, but of dog hair."

"Honey, does the baby do parkour? ""No"" she says. He replies ""then he fell out the window""."

"airplane food whats up with that?"

"What do you call a group of retards in a sauna? Steamed vegetables."

"Hey you hear about that gay midget? Yeah, he came out of the cupbard."

"I think marriage is probably like having a business partner. No that's not true, probably weird if your business partner takes your kids"