159132

Joke of the Day

"An old man is running through the halls of an old-folks home wearing a cape and yelling ""Super Sex! Super Sex!"" An old lady pokes her head out of her room and says, ""I'll have the soup."""

"If you stare in a mirror long enough and start screaming, you'll see angry faces of figures dressed in orange. *only works at Home Depot"

"French toast is just regular toast that smokes cigarettes and has a tiny mustache."

"*Jesus hanging on cross next to thieves* Lean in guys, let's do a face swap"

"A farmer asks the scarecrow if he likes his job ""Well... this job isn't for everyone..."" the scarecrow ponders, ""but hey... it's in my jeans"""

"What do you call slapping hands with (5^.5+1)/2? A high phive! I'll see myself out now."

"What do you call an exercise group run by Jesus Christ? Crossfit."

"Will you be my 14th most used emoji?"

"When the gay guy died, why did they bury him face down? So his buddies could come by and have a cold one with him."

"How do sheep keep warm in winter ? Central bleating !"