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Joke of the Day

"I was pleased with the first day of The World Cup, and even more pleased that it didn't turn into ""2 Girls, 1 World Cup"" as I had feared."

"If Donald Trump becomes President... ... There will be hell toupee."

"A funny thing to do when someone's dog barks at you is say, ""I don't speak dog,"" and then when they leave the room, speak dog fluently."

"How does a candy bar laugh? It snickers"

"Two doctors were discussing the game Proctologist:""Did you see the game last night?"" Neurologist: ""No, did we beat them?"" Proctologist: ""We didn't just beat em, we rectum!"

"My fiance is a med student and was talking to me about her geriatrics class... ... and my first thought was ""This is getting old real fast."""

"How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb? It only takes one, but it takes a very long time and the light bulb has to really want to change."

"I really wish I knew who kicked the jack under the car which I was working on........ .......... the suspension is killing me."

"I was at the pet shop, and said ""I'd like to buy a wasp."" ""We don't sell wasps,"" they said. ""Then why do you have one in the window?"""

"Cam Newton has been fitted with a GoPro strapped to his leg for the Super Bowl, sponsored by a canned meat company. It's called the Spam Cam Newton Gam Cam"