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Joke of the Day
"Two Dicks... Two dicks were hanging out at a bar."
Next Joke
"What weighs 12lbs and won't be getting plucked this Christmas Scott Weilands guitar"
"I made this. When you think about it, it is kind of silly that honey contains B vitamins."
"You'll find there's truly so much beauty in the world if you'll just look at the right desktop wallpaper websites"
"When I was a kid, we had our own personal chef Chef Boyardee"
"If you walk into Whole Foods with a McD's cheeseburger, you'll be dragged to the meat locker & gang banged with a free range chicken wing."
"Why do women fake orgasms? because they think men care."
"do you qualify to be my crush? *pulls out list* *checks off has a beating heart* yup you qualify"
"Why did Adele cross the street? To say hello.... From the other side."
"I always want to be friends with the people that need shopping carts at the liquor store. I bet those people are fun."