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Joke of the Day

"You'll find there's truly so much beauty in the world if you'll just look at the right desktop wallpaper websites"

"A man was arrested for taking drugs in the UAE He got stoned..."

"*walks up to cute teller at bank* Me: you wanna grab lunch some time? T: sir, I've seen your balance. M: yea, I was hoping you'd buy."

"What's better than kiddie porno? Adult porno. Kiddie porn is gross, you sick fuck!"

"Why are Italians so good at football? Because it involves changing sides halfway through."

"Mom, you're embarrassing me in front of the hostages!"

"Apparently, I've got Rationalitis. I wouldn't know if it weren't for the check-up; it's asymptotic."

"I went out last night with a group of enthusiastic weavers. Unfortunately they had to rush off to meet a looming deadline."

"ok boss, i duck taped the hostage's mouth shut ""you mean duct taped, right?"" um... *cuts to hostage with live mallard stuffed in his mouth*"

"painting Painting is the second thing in the world that requires hand and imagination simultaneously"