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Joke of the Day

"I always shave my beard after having sex ... so I can remind my wife for how long we've not been doing it."

"What did god say when he created the first black man? fuck you"

"You don't need a parachute to skydive... You need it to skydive twice."

"There are marriages that end well... ...and others that last forever."

"Hug your children. Hug your friends and family. Hug the cashier at Chipotle. Hug someone else's children. Hug the arresting officer."

"Happy Birthday Tupac! He would've been 72 today if Dick Cheney hadn't shot him in his face."

"If your ad has one black person, one white person, one brown person & one Asian person in it, I will not buy your product."

"Why do people say its not you... it's me in a breakup? Yeah it's YOU, you're an idiot! I'm amazing... ask your brother!"

"Your restraining order says NO But your lazy eye says.......maybe later."

"He can't decide whether to have his visor half open or half closed."