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Joke of the Day

"What is the shit you didn't see? The shit you stepped on"

"What holiday do Jewish bridges celebrate? Passover."

"What does the ""LL"" in LL Cool J stand for? Lickin Lips"

"Okay you guys, I'm gonna distract Twitter with an internal server error. When I do, make a run for it and get your life back."

"What do you call a gay dinosaur? A mega sore ass."

"I'm thinking of re-releasing my old tweets in 3D."

"So I went to the doctor's office today. He tells me I need to stop masturbating. I ask him why, is my heart to weak, or something? He says ""no, im trying to examine you.."

"What do you call someone who crashes flying dinosaurs into buildings? A pterrorist"

"[In a cucumber submarine] 1st mate: *inspecting leak* we're taking on saltwater captain Cptn: hm yes looks like we're in quite the pickle"

"A mama's boy is frantically running out of a strip club yelling... MY MOMMA TOLD ME IF I EVER CAME INTO A PLACE LIKE THIS I'D TURN INTO STONE. AND I FEEL IT'S STARTING"