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Joke of the Day
"Have you ever had sex while camping? Its fucking intents!"
Next Joke
"A new study shows twitter is more addictive than crack. A scientist who looks suspiciously like my wife said ""better put down that phone."""
"What's got two wings, a tail and twenty five pricks? England's return flight."
"1. Ask for something. 2. Throw it down. 3. Repeat steps 1 & 2. - Toddler To Do List"
"""Dude, we should swap spacesuits. Just for a laugh."" ""Ha, yeah ok."" [swaps suits] ""Now we sh-"" ""You took a shit in this, didn't you?"""
"Q: How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it."
"I swear if I see one more person enter this WalMart wearing pajamas I am going to take the belt off my bathrobe and choke them with it"
"What do you call a very smart glass of lemonade that is gay? A homo-genius mixture"
"Why do hurricanes have women name? Because they take away your house, your car, your furniture and everything you have."
"*notices battery is at 4%* *goes into airplane mode* *turns down brightness* *exits all apps* *prays to jesus and compliments his sandals*"