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Joke of the Day

"A new study shows twitter is more addictive than crack. A scientist who looks suspiciously like my wife said ""better put down that phone."""

Next Joke
 
"What did the sarcastic taximan say when he lost his job? Oh well that's just uber, isn't it"
"How did the burglar get into the house? Intruder window"
"I got my first blow job today It sucked"
"If you blew up Mount Rushmore, what crime would you have committed? Four counts of defacing a national monument."
"How does a Trigonometry teacher appreciate his girlfriend? ""Oh baby, you are so (1/cos C)"" !!!"
"When your prescription says ""DO NOT DRINK ALCOHOL WHILE TAKING THIS"" how many beers are you really allowed to have? 6?"
"Forgot it's April fool's! What's the simplest way to really quickly get some friends so I can prank them?"
"What's white on top and black on bottom? Society What's black on top and white on bottom? Rape"
"*pulls handle on slot machine *prune *prune *prune *diarrhea comes out"