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Joke of the Day

"1. Ask for something. 2. Throw it down. 3. Repeat steps 1 & 2. - Toddler To Do List"

"[party] What exactly does BYOB mean? ""Bring your own beer"" Bill Nye the Science Guy slowly slides the bacteria sample back in his lab coat"

"I've said it before and I'll say it again, if you drive a Nissan but don't call it Liam then what is even the point of you"

"What is the smallest part of a little person? Their wee-knees!"

"What do you call a group of unorganized cats? A CAT-ASTROPHE!"

"An ancient tribe of homosapiens split off from the rest and stared at the sun for thousands of years. Today we call them Asians."

"My teenage son is obsessed with the difference between sine and cosine. But I'm sure it's just a phase."

"3 biggest women lies :) 1. I will not change after marriage. 2. I forgive you. --- EDIT: 2. It's fine. I forgive you. 3. I am going shopping. I will be back in 30 minutes."

"Old Macdonald had a really bad scrabble hand...... E - I - E - I - O....."

"Hackgate: Patriots hacked Seattle headsets and knew they were going to throw the ball."