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Joke of the Day

"I like my women like I like my ice cream... Smooth, pale, cold, and recently extracted from a freezer."

"What do biographers and serial killers have in common? Multiple life sentences."

"I don't get people that talk to themselves"

"When Captain Picard's sewing machine broke he brought it to the repairman and said... ""make it sew."""

"What do you call a group of students? A school."

"Drake the type of dude who eat two gummy bears at the same time so they don't die alone."

"The security camera at work has ""too many instances"" of me acting like a dinosaur on film. And ""any amount"" is ""too many."" According to HR."

"How many hipsters... does it take to screw in a light bulb? It's a really obscure number. You've probably never heard of it."

"What has 8 legs and makes a woman scream? Gang rape"

"[commercial] ""This commercial is so confusing. I wish they would just tell us what they're selling"" narrator: Narrators"