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Joke of the Day
"You ever get off the toilet and think... Man, was I full of shit!"
Next Joke
"In my spare time I like to read, write, and fall in love with unavailable people."
"Me: Got any more of those debbled eggs? Friend: Did you just say DEBBLED eggs? Me: No, I said the right thing..."
"Math is sad. It takes hours to try to prove your point, but only one counterexample to destroy everything. Much like my marriage."
"What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Princess Diana? Tiger Woods had a better driver"
"What do you call the gap between a pair of fake boobs? Silicone Valley. edit: spelling"
"Sorry girl, you knew you were dating a bad boy *saves used gift bag because those things are expensive*"
"MICKEY & DONALD IN A FOXHOLE Q: Why did Mickey Mouse get shot? A: Because Donald ducked."
"I call my wife the iNag because she has 32GB of complaints and they're set on shuffle."
"I opened the window... And influenza."