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Joke of the Day

"Me: Got any more of those debbled eggs? Friend: Did you just say DEBBLED eggs? Me: No, I said the right thing..."

"A new bike company says it has the best wheels in the world. According to their spokesperson."

"Pantibros before pantihose?"

"A violist and a cellist were standing on a sinking ship together. ""Help!"" cried the cellist ""I can't swim!"" ""Don't worry"" said the violist ""just fake it."""

"When I'm empty-handed my dog doesn't know what the word 'sit' means, but if I have a treat she can perform neurosurgery."

"I wish the book ""How to be an adult"" came in hard cover... .. it would be that much more effective at bonking stupid people in the head."

"My grandma is very conservative. It would break her heart if she knew I was bi -partisan."

"Missus and I splitting. I blame her new job. Ever since she started at EA, our definitions of ""exclusive"" have really diverged."

"What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator!"

"Why did the lion spit out the clown? Because he tasted funny."