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Joke of the Day
"I once had a job circumcising elephants. The pay sucked, but the tips were big!"
Next Joke
"My old roommate's bathroom was so dirty- -I had to clean the soap before using it. (Seriously.)"
"I had to break up with my Chinese girlfriend... An hour after eating her, I was horny again."
"*Opening presents 1986: Please be a crossbow! Please be a crossbow! 2016: Please be a crossbow! Please be a crossbow!"
"How do New Zealanders practice safe sex? (NSFW) They paint a red X on the back of the sheep that kick."
"Q.How Do you put an elephant in a fridge in 3 simple steps A.Open the fridge, put in the elephant, close the fridge"
"What shape is your hair in the morning? A wrecktangle. (Made up by my 10 year old daughter :)"
"I saw a man at the beach yelling ""Help, Shark! Help! I just laughed, i knew that Shark wasn't going to help him."
"Who decided smiling would be the default expression for pictures?"
"Did you guys hear the one-liner about the Monorail?"