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Joke of the Day

"How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb? Only one, but the light bulb has to want to change."

"Men are like Bluetooth. When they're close they're connected, when they move further they start looking for new equipment."

"Doctor asks a prostitute, do you know who the father is? prostitute replies. Oh for goodness sakes If you ate a can of baked beans would you know which one made you fart?"

"hAD SO MYCH COFFEE WHO wantS TO HELP ME STOP KONY LETS GO LETS STEAL A CAR BRO CMON"

"What's the difference between weed and pussy? If you can smell weed across the room, that means its good."

"I'm going door-to-door to promote my new gym. It's called ""Jehovah's Fitness"""

"[shows jury picture of gruesome murder scene] *they all gasp* That was my initial reaction too. Those shoes with those pants?"

"What would a porno be like? Lots of clicking and snapping?"

"What goes up and down but does not move? Stairs"

"Lucie introduced me to the phrase ""peanut butter and jealous"" and I can never go back to what I so blindly called a ""life"" before"