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Joke of the Day

"What do you do when you see a penis drawn on the wall? You rub it off."

"Me: If I have $45 and your mother has $15, how much money does your mom have? 6yo: $60 Me: That's correct, son."

"She gets stoked after reading: ""Big strapping boxer"" on dating site But soon discovers he's a 475 lb. guy working in shipping at Amazon."

"How do Italian Chefs swap recipes? By Spaghett-e-mail!"

"Our dishwasher works exceedingly well, as long as you only put clean dishes in it."

"Nothing's deader than the eyes of a Burger King employee who can no longer bring themselves to correct people who order ""McNuggets"" anymore."

"Why did Jesus deactivate his Instagram account? Because he only had 12 followers."

"What do banks and the US government have in common? They both deal with checks and balances."

"What car do rich black people drive? A Countach"

"I DO help with the laundry. My wife just doesn't understand. I wear the same jeans for like two weeks straight."