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Joke of the Day

"Nothing's deader than the eyes of a Burger King employee who can no longer bring themselves to correct people who order ""McNuggets"" anymore."

"Did you hear about the man who couldn't keep his herb garden under control? He had bad thyme management."

"What did Abe Lincoln say after a three day drinking binge? ""Wait... I freed ***WHO***?!?!?"""

"What did the pirate say when he became an octogenarian? Aye matey."

"How do you get Lady Gaga to leave you alone? You Poke-r Face."

"Looks like my prof is giving black friday deals too 50% off late assignments."

"Girl, you're just like hell... because I'd kill to enter you."

"Why are New Yorkers so depressed?? Because the light at the end of the tunnel is New Jersey."

"My mate is setting up a helpline for men who are addicted to masturbating..... I hope he pulls it off....."

"Spain's king, Juan Carlos, has stepped down from the throne to make way for his son, who is more popular. Which, by the way, would be the worst ""Game of Thrones"" episode ever."