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Joke of the Day

"How many psychoanalysts does it take to change a light bulb? ""How many do you think it takes?"""

"Kudos to Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie! They really went out of their way to make their adoptive African children feel like a part of an authentic American family by getting a divorce."

"There's a strong correlation between the amount of pre-made holes in a guy's jeans & his level of douchiness."

"My neighbor traded in his KIA yesterday. Sold his Soul for a Mustang."

"What do you call a rapist in the friendzone? A stalker."

"Did you hear about the mushroom? He was a fungi."

"Woman hits me with her shopping cart. I apologize. Another woman hits me with her cart. I apologize. Being Canadian is like being married."

"How do you know your daughter's a slut? Because you never kiss her goodnight."

"Take heed: Do not open this email There's an email that had begun circulating recently that is offering processed pork, gelatin, and salt in a can. If you get this email, do not open it; it's SPAM."

"As an american, I feel really sorry for the Canadians up north. I mean, how do they even live if their summer is 30 degrees?"