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Joke of the Day

"Twitter is cool because it makes me look like I'm texting my friends instead of talking to myself."

"What do public toilets and homeless shelters have in common? They're both full of bums"

"If Iron Man and the Man of Steel were to team up, they'd be powerful alloys."

"QUESTION: How long does a United States Congressman serve? ANSWER: Until he gets caught."

"*Throws all 900 baby items in garbage* *Buys Magic 8 Ball* *Whispers*, This is how we raise you now."

"What is the worst joke you have ever Heard? I'll start it off: Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The Ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent."

"I hate being bi-polar.It's awesome."

"Did you hear about the guy who killed the sphinx? i hear he's one bad-ass motherfucker..."

"One day a wife complained.. ""This wall clock almost killed my mother today. It fell only seconds after she got up from the couch."" The husband grunted and replied, ""The darn clock always was slow."""

"I want to start a Precedents Day, but it's tough because there's never been one before."