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Joke of the Day

"Open your mind before your mouth."

"How does every racist joke start? With looking over your shoulder."

"Did you know that Hitler survived World War 2? He's currently a mod at r/news."

"I'm pretty sure the whole ""ladies first"" thing was created by a guy just to check out ass."

"7 has started saying ""your life just got better,"" whenever he enters the room; humility is not this kid's strong-suit."

"boyfriend jeans are over. in 2017 its all about wearing your boyfriend's dog's jeans"

"ME: I know it's probably the beer talking, but you look beautiful tonight! BEER: Hey buddy, don't be putting words in my mouth now."

"What's Hillary Clinton's key to success? The Delete Key"

"Girls like bad boys, so why can't I get a girlfriend? I'm bad at literally everything. (If you came here expecting a joke, I'm sorry, the joke is my life)"

"Just got a great deal on some bottled water. The store was having a liquidation sale."