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Joke of the Day

"I searched deep in the anals of history and found nothing but shit... Or ""The annals of history are mostly full of shit..."" *maybe that can be an adage or something?"

"What's longer than most relationships these days? This status."

"What do you call a blind deer? No-eye deer. What do you call a blind deer with no legs? *Still* no-eye deer."

"Why is pulling out 100% effective for superman? They never survive the 1000ft fall to earth. (Thanks Drawn Together)"

"What do four out of five guys love to do? Gang-rape."

"I'm such a cougar magnet. And I'm not talking about middle aged women either, I'm talking about REAL FUCKING COUGARS!"

"Showed up late for work and blamed it on rush hour. Showed up late again the next day and blamed it on rush hour 2."

"""And the Oscar for Best Actress goes to.....Beyonce?"" *Kanye slowly sits down*"

"Went bass fishing the other day Caught a subwoofer this big!"

"If you blew up Mount Rushmore, what crime would you have committed? Four counts of defacing a national monument."