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Joke of the Day

"What do women and grammar Nazis have in common? One missed period is enough to freak them out."

"You know when motorcyclists give a little wave to each other, I do that when I see someone else eating in their car."

"I don't care who you are. If you can constantly make me laugh, I'm probably gonna wanna fcuk you."

"Where'd the rabbi stay on business? The L'Hyatt"

"forever alone Having alcohol by yourself at home is considered a problem, but social drinking is acceptable. So now, whenever I open a crate of White Lightning, I always log on to Facebook."

"Her: Make me a burrito, please. Me: ?? *wraps her in blanket *pours hot sauce inside"

"I'm really good at sex I ALWAYS come 1st."

"I used to supply filofaxes to the mafia I was involved in very organised crime"

"Why doesn't Usain Bolt have a girlfriend? Because he's literally the fastest man on earth (get it cuz sex)"

"My dick hangs off to the left a bit. I guess you could say that it's a tiny bit cockeyed."