23001

Joke of the Day

"You should never trust a person as far as you can throw them. Needless to say, I trust the fuck out of babies."

"SCIENTIST: it's both man and machine ME: what's it called? S: I call it a cyborg M: I would have went with manchine S: *crushes test tube*"

"What is Snoop Dogg's favorite weather? Drizzle"

"I went to my new male Gynecologist and he said to spread my legs so that he could numb it down there. So he went down and went numnumnumnumnumnum"

"""We have HBO"" - apparently still a bragging point in the motel industry."

"I asked my cat ""Who is your favorite President of China?"" According to her it's Mao."

"LeBron Still Wins MVP. Most Visible Penis."

"A marching band passed by this morning, shouting ""Make America Great Again!"" Must be some Donald Trumpeters."

"What was Captain Picard's favorite kind of train? N-Gauge."

"So I broke my mom's tailbone during childbirth. And I've been a pain in her ass ever since."