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Joke of the Day

"""""Dammit I'm Mad"" is spelled the same way backwards. Think about it."""

"once i saw a horse standing next to a car and when someone remote unlocked the car, the horse got spooked and kicked in the passenger door."

"ER Doc: you know you could have avoided these 3rd degree burns by walking away from the explosion at regular speed Me: did it look cool tho"

"What do you call a gay sailor who happens to have a cold? Phlegmbuoyant."

"How can you tell if you're Canadian (Italian joke) Go to a cliff and yell ""Mangia"". If your echo says "" cake""...."

"The past, the present, and the future walk into a bar... It was tense."

"Sorry I didn't reply to your text, I just couldn't find a response that would keep you from sending another"

"A well-known doctor recently passed away and is having a funeral this weekend. There will be no coffin at the funeral."

"INTERVIEWER:How good are your public speaking skills? ME:*from behind a tall plant in the office, I throw a piece of paper saying 'Decent'*"

"Terrible pun (I'm sorry) What do you call a guy who travels the world convincing women to have oral sex? A cunning linguist"